Real Lives

KamBriaBW

KamBria Swenson

Friday, March 20th, 2009

Mother

My name is KamBria Swenson. I came to know Christ truly about 20 months ago. It was March of my senior year of high school in Springfield, OR when I found out I was pregnant.

I knew I was pregnant on February 28th, 2007. My parents were furious, to be expected. John really wanted to keep the baby or give her up for adoption. I knew that was what I wanted as well, but I was afraid of hurting my mom even more.  So I sided with my mom. She scheduled the abortion appointment.  Four days went by and it was the weekend. My mom went away to my younger brother’s basketball tournament in Seaside.  John was driving up to Eugene from Bandon for a soccer game and to watch me in my play. My parents said I could see him so we went to dinner and then my play. We argued about the baby the whole time. He knew I wanted to do the right thing; I was just trying to please my mom. And it was true. My whole life I had been trying to please her. I needed help. That is when I started to pray. In my head I asked God to forgive me for having not prayed in years. This was the bulk of my first prayer. Then I just asked for a simple sign.

Anything.

And all of a sudden this feeling just came over  me. It sounds so corny, but it really happened. This motherly maternal instinct took me over. I knew that an abortion would be wrong and out of the question. After my play was done we walked out to my car and I was nervous. I kept thinking of what I would need to do. I started to pray again. I asked for a sign, a visual sign that I would know was from Him. And he again granted my wish. The largest shooting star went soaring through the sky and that sealed the deal. This was Saturday.

I woke up Sunday morning and I drove to John’s soccer game. After the game he headed home. I called my mom and told her that we need to talk. She went hysterical.  Literally. She started puking and crying. She hung up the phone. I was then cornered by her, my dad, and my brother.  I was asked to leave; I would not be welcomed under their roof anymore. So I packed what I could and called my grandfather who lived about 20 minutes from John. He came up to Eugene and took me home with him.

A lot happened the first couple weeks I was there. I enrolled in school down in Port Orford; I was going to finish my senior year, I started going to this psychiatrist on my mother’s orders to make sure I wasn’t going insane. It was all overwhelming I needed help again, but I was afraid that I had blown it. God had given me two miracles to help guide me the right direction and I had blown him off and not trusted him fully twice.  I was scared that I wasn’t good enough. I was very confused. So I prayed again. I asked God to send me someone to talk to. I needed someone from the outside of this mess to give me advice. And yet again, my wish was granted. John and I started going to this Christian pregnancy resource center in Coos Bay. A counselor named Fred really challenged my thinking. He gave me options, showed me proof. He bought me my first bible. Fred really is the reason my mother and I can have a relationship today.  He helped me cope with my mom and understand her thoughts. My mom and I were so close before everything happened. And it hurt terribly that she couldn’t support me. He showed me that she was just angry. I had to think of her as my mom and not my enemy. When the baby was here, it would all be ok. And that I needed to pray for her and start going to church. This was the kicker.

I had lived down in Bandon for 4 months and I hadn’t stepped foot in the church. I was scared of what people would say. I didn’t want to be a burden for John’s family.  They had shown me so much love and support. I kept putting it off and putting it off.  In June we found out we were having girl. This is when I decided it was time. I went to church. And I cried the whole time. I knew it was real. I knew he was real. I wanted to keep my baby and I wanted to be a godly mother to my daughter. John asked me to marry him. He didn’t want to live together if we weren’t married. I eventually agreed. I was having a hard time letting my childhood go and doing something that was so big and permanent.

We got married on August 10th, 2007. I had joined a women’s bible study and started reading in my bible every day. John and started to grow together spiritually, like a triangle. The closer we both were to God, the closer we became.  It was unreal. The power that our Lord showed to me. The miracles he had done just for me. But then the ultimate miracle, at 3:18am on November 8th, 2007 my daughter KaiLey Jo Mychal Swenson was born. And all I could do was cry. I just kept whispering thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus! I was baptized in John’s family’s church on Easter of 2008. I felt so good when I rose from the water, like I was a new person. John’s senior year went by quickly and we were soon moving to Corvallis. He now plays soccer at OSU and I am doing my degree online to become an Ultrasound Technician. I want to return to Coos Bay and attempt to give back all that they did for me. I have even thought of doing this in Corvallis, creating a safe, Christian place where women can come to seek help and possibly save lives.

God works in amazing ways. I know he is calling me to use my story and to help other to learn from it. I believe I am here to help teens and young woman who feel like there is no other choice. But there is, and its the greatest of all! There is a reason my daughter is here, and I know that in my heart she is my gift, my ultimate gift from God. I want to be a mother who brings her children up in the Lord’s ways. I want to continue to develop as a woman of God and spread his word to other woman out there who are struggling with these choices every day. I want to be a good wife, and honor my husband. He was there through it all, and without him I never would have found the Lord. Continuing my life the way I used to be would be empty, but to live as I am right now I feel whole. My mother and I are somewhat back on track. I pray for her every day. Someday I hope my daughter understands that it wasn’t me or her father who saved her, but it was Jesus Christ. He saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life. My daughter is now 14 months old and she is my reminder everyday of God’s eternal love for us.

 

4 Responses to “KamBria Swenson”

  1. Tom Says:

    April 3rd, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Kambria is a blessing to our family and we love her. Christ has shown so much grace and love to all of us through His work in their lives and ours.

  2. Christie Says:

    April 16th, 2009 at 10:59 am

    What an amazing story of God’s deep deep love for us all! His love and forgiveness to so deep and so wide for all of us. Praise His name that He saved one more little one! Thank you KamBria for listening to that voice in your heart that was God speaking to you!

  3. Hannah Says:

    April 16th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    This brought tears to my eyes. As KamBria’s sister in law, God has given me a front seat ticket to witness his grace and love. He transformed her from an insecure, confused high school girl into a godly woman, wife and mother. God is truly at work in this world and in personal lives.

  4. Crabby Magnolia Says:

    April 17th, 2009 at 9:05 am

    C.S. Lewis said, “We read to know we are not alone.”

    Your story, KamBria, is the sign I needed today to remember He is faithful and hears our prayer. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.